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101 ways to show yourself love

A journey to self love can be complicated when we were not shown how and were taught to care take others. We can get lost in people pleasing to get validation rather than learning how to give that to ourselves. This blog article is my own journey of self discovery to find love for myself and 101 ways you can do it for yourself.

It all starts with one step

In 2015 I was early on my journey of healing from my past. I moved into a flat in Brixton and that is when I first stumbled open the term ‘self-love’ it was literally alien to me prior to this! I was all about loving ABSOLUTELY everyone else but myself. I had no idea how to do it or why it was even important.

At this point of my life I was not sure I even liked myself never mind loved myself.

I had an extremely loud inner voice that was telling me I was nothing and shouting about everything that was ‘wrong’ with me. I believed that voice completely and had no idea that this was a voice from my past.

I believed the answer to feeling happier was to get someone else to fall in love with me. Back then I was under the impression that if I could get said person to love me everything would get better and my life could move forward.

It was in attempt to try and make someone else fall in love with me I discovered self-love and started the process of loving myself. I remember at the beginning of 2015 reading an article that said if you wanted to get a soul mate to fall in love with you the key was self-love. Thankfully that person never fell in love with me but my attempt to love myself for him created great change in my life.

Overtime I did learn to fall in love with myself making my whole life transform. It is what lead me to working with others in my coaching practice and my now healthy relationship with my fiancé Simon. Self love is a human need and when we love and care for ourselves everything changes.

Self love changed everything about my life. My career, my relationships with others and my self and helped me to grow self esteem and move away from people pleasing.

When you love yourself your able to move forward in life in a healthier way and make decisions which are for YOUR own highest good and no else’s. How can someone who is good for you love you … if you don’t even like yourself. How will you know that someone is treating you badly, if you treat yourself worse. So many of us are just not taught this principal of self-love and self-care when we are young and that is why we have to learn about the process as an adult. Often because our parents didn't know how to show themselves healthy love.

Nurturing ourselves on the inside is what helps us to grow healthy self esteem and then we want so much more for ourselves. We find our own version of happiness as loving ourselves helps us to find who we truly are.

I remember years ago before my self love quest, one of my best friends cancelled on me because she was ‘too tired’ to meet up and I was so upset because I really needed to speak to her and she knew I did. I remember thinking how selfish this friend was and I think I was annoyed with her for a little while. Because I would never do that I would be there in everyone’s darkest moment when they needed me and I certainly would never cancel!

I realise now that she was showing herself self-love and self care and there is nothing wrong with that. I however was constantly giving and never cancelling plans due to other people’s dark moments and not giving myself any of my own self-love or self-care. This was making me exhausted, depressed and rather bitter. Self love empowers you to take control of your own life and happiness.

Below is my list of 101 ways to show yourself love. So why don’t you try something from this list and see what happens for you.

  1. Self-love is sharing my story and my pain

  2. Self-love is meditation

  3. Self-love is saying I am not ok

  4. Self-love is exercising my body

  5. Self-love is feeding myself food which is good for my body

  6. Self-love is loving my body no matter what size or what weight

  7. Self-love is reading affirmations in the mirror every day

  8. Self-love is solo holidays

  9. Self-love is reading self-help books

  10. Self-love is walking away from toxic relationships

  11. Self-love is healing addictions

  12. Self-love is going to therapy

  13. Self-love is listening to a podcast

  14. Self-love is saying NO

  15. Self-love is understanding my own story from the beginning

  16. Self-love is journaling

  17. Self-love is watching a sunset

  18. Self-love is going for a walk in nature

  19. Self-love is seeing the world

  20. Self-love is cooking myself a healthy meal

  21. Self-love is drinking less alcohol

  22. Self-love is leaving a job where I wasn’t appreciated

  23. Self-love is expressing how I feel

  24. Self-love is having a salt bath with candles

  25. Self-love is going for a massage

  26. Self-love is going on a relaxing holiday by a beach

  27. Self-love is making sure I sleep 7-8 hours

  28. Self-love is not making too many plans

  29. Self-love is spending time on my own

  30. Self-love is going on a date on your own

  31. Self-love is identifying your needs in a relationship

  32. Self-Love is forgiving yourself for the past mistakes

  33. Self-love is forgiving others and letting go

  34. Self-love is telling people how to treat you

  35. Self-love is trying new creative pursuits

  36. Self-love is putting yourself first

  37. Self-love is dream journaling

  38. Self-love is rejecting someone who is not right for you

  39. Self-love is buying clothes that make you feel good

  40. Self-love is spending money on good quality food

  41. Self-love is watching tv/films that lift your spirits

  42. Self-love is going for a promotion and asking for money

  43. Self-love is blocking someone from contact if need be

  44. Self-love is writing poetry

  45. Self-love is sharing stories with people who have been through the same as you

  46. Self-love is healing co-dependency

  47. Self-love is to stop trying to fixing others

  48. Self-love is to stop manipulating and controlling others

  49. Self-love is to be honest and open

  50. Self-love is to be authentic

  51. Self- love is healing childhood trauma

  52. Self-love is running

  53. Self-love is doing a job you love

  54. Self-love is working for a company you are proud to be part of

  55. Self-love is knowing your worth

  56. Self-love is talking to your inner child

  57. Self-love is choosing a romantic love which meets your own personal needs

  58. Self-love is following your own heart no one else’s

  59. Self-love is choosing how you want to spend your time

  60. Self-love is telling your parents how they made you feel

  61. Self-love is having compassion for yourself

  62. Self-love is showing yourself kindness

  63. Self-love is keeping yourself safe and away from extreme triggering situations that will affect your physical or mental health

  64. Self-love is prioritising your physical, mental and spiritual health

  65. Self-love is to silence the inner critic

  66. Self-love is to explore spirituality

  67. Self-love is to learn how to be a healthy adult

  68. Self-love is to work with a specialised coach to achieve your own goals

  69. Self-love is to breathe to calm down anxiety

  70. Self-love is to consciously live

  71. Self-love is to do yoga

  72. Self-love is to have goals

  73. Self-love is to stop emotional eating

  74. Self-love is to stop body shaming

  75. Self-love is to ignore someone’s message if you choose to

  76. Self-love is to take a lunch hour

  77. Self-love is to date someone who makes you feel good

  78. Self-love is to choose a romantic partner who validates and affirms you

  79. Self-love is to leave work on time

  80. Self-love is to do 10,000 steps every day

  81. Self-love is to go for a reiki session

  82. Self-love is to heal your body with craniosacral therapy

  83. Self-love is to cry

  84. Self-love is to stay in bed and watch Netflix

  85. Self-love is to do nothing if you want to

  86. Self-love is to paint your nails

  87. Self-love is to have an expensive hair cut

  88. Self-love is to have a facial

  89. Self-love is take yourself for an expensive meal

  90. Self-love is to surround yourself with people that make you feel safe and lifted

  91. Self-love is to be around people who make you laugh

  92. Self-love is to walk away from relationships that hurt you even when that upsets others

  93. Self-love is dating not your type

  94. Self-love is being aware of narcissists

  95. Self-love is choosing a romantic partner with a secure attachment

  96. Self-love is moving homes if the environment doesn’t make you happy

  97. Self-love is to read other people’s stories of growth

  98. Self-love is considering your own emotions and feeling above others

  99. Self-love is choosing your own dreams

  100. Self-love is always choosing YOU and your own happiness!

  101. Self-love to prioritise YOU

If you need some more inspiration why not listen to the following podcast episodes:

or to kick off your own journey of self discovery check out the 8 week signature Heart's Happiness to grow self love.

Look forward to sharing more stories with you soon in my blog.

Manpreet xx

Intergenerational Trauma and Happiness Coach, Mentor, Speaker, Writer and Podcaster

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